Remember that wonder at the first time you saw a beautiful man fly through the air on the trapeze?  Can you remember, fondly,  those first stirrings of lust you felt when you saw scantily clad dancers vamp seductively? Remember those real fears that emerged when that clown looked you in the eye and smiled? Oh yes, the circus.

There’s just one more week to catch the freak circus, my friends. You may have seen the giant red and white circus tent in the Los Angeles State Historic Park near Chinatown for the better part of the summer.  Know that inside is a dark wonderland of acrobats, dancers, ghosts and strongmen.  Cirque Berzerk is your opportunity to indulge that inner juvenile delinquent, and run away to join the dirty circus. This show’s definitely intended for mature audiences, leave the kids at home. I mean, unless they are teenagers and into that sort of thing.

They have shows Thursday through Sunday (8/6-8/9), and this weekend is the last weekend of the season. Last year I got to see them on the last weekend of their run, and it was epic and it was sold out. I suggest getting your tickets in advance at their website (www.cirqueberzerk.com).

Plan a whole creepy circus evening of it. You can pack a picnic and gather around the park. Dress up and get involved! When you start seeing the massive flame cannons, the show is about to begin.  You can party with the fantastic carnie band Vaud and the Villains in the Booze Tent.  Stay after the show and dance with the cast. They keep the second tent open until pretty late and it becomes a hopping little party in it’s own right. It’s a magical show, they do it right.

So, apologies are in order. I got freaked out, I got sick and I got tired. That is what has happened to me for the last week. I apologize. I got lifed, pretty bad. 

But I am back! 

So here’s what’s up, in a nutshell. No, here’s what’s up in a top ten things I love about my life. 

1. Love and openness to it. It’s pretty sweet. I’m just in this really cool space about it. It’s the no attachment thing. Earlier in the week, I was a little down on myself, but a dinner with Wolfie gave me a good place to stand, and I am back in love with love.  

2. I got a Trogdor for my bike.  

Yeah. Pretty awesome. Now to get a red wrestling mask and boxing gloves. Oh, and a beefy arm or two for the side. 

3. Burning Man shopping is on. The consumining! What do I need now? Well for one, I need a good drag outfit for Ladies Night on the Playa. I’ve never gone drag, I’m a little intimidated and scared. So suggestions (real suggestions, paynie, you are not invited to contribute) are welcome.  Wow. I can’t believe I just invited that one in. 

4. I went to Clockwork Orange last weekend at the Cemetery Screenings.  I was deeply affected by it. More upset by it than the countless times I saw it in film school. It turns out, I have been desensitized to violence. And now, seeing that desensitization, I am disturbed. Also, just the fear and violence in that movie. Wow. An amazing piece of scifi, it read more like a poem than a movie. And like really good scifi, it wasn’t about the future at all. It was about the now of 1971 when it came out. The tragedy is that we still haven’t gotten it. 

The movie also inspired me. I want to write a contemporary scifi novel. Right away. I’d love to get a rough draft complete at the end of this crazy month. Maybe a longhand manuscript. It’s crazy, right? But I am compelled. 

5. I just took a job with The Do Lab for right after Burning Man. In fact, I am flying off of the Playa on Thursday before the Man Burns. I’ve never been out there that early and I have never left that early. But I will have been out there for two weeks. I also get to spend ten days in Denver! That is super exciting! I have some dear friends out in Denver! It’s a good choice. I think I have already found a ride out of BM, a subletter for my sweet canvas space tent, a ride home for some of my stuff and a possible driver for my car back to LA (although I am taking volunteers). 

6. Adventure. It seems like I am having adventures solid through september. My new mantra: I am answering The Call.

7.  My Element is getting fixed. I’m now driving a Jeep Liberty. At least it has utility. I was cruising in my parent’s Lexus for a few days. It’s a sweet car, but delicate. There is an adage in the film business. “It’s a rental, don’t be gentle.” My car should be ready by Tuesday. 

8.  The Burning Man Screen Saver! Get it. It’s getting me really excited. 

9. I’m going to the Circus Tomorrow! I can’t wait! I haven’t been this excited about the circus since my ninth birthday! 

10. New bedspread and sheets. It’s the simple things in life that give me the most joy.  Oh yes, and Scotty taught me how to use a surger the other day. We made my fur blanket. It matches my coat, and it will keep me warm on the playa!