Today, I got pulled over in the rental Liberty by an LAPD officer in South Central named officer Divinity. He gave me a ticket. He was pulling over car after car for a no left turn on red sign that I completely missed. This sucks for a few reasons. Firstly, tickets blow. Second, I’ve gotten tickets for this one before. Those no right turn signs just don’t make sense to my primitive brain.  So I can blame no one, but myself.  

But it was funny, being pulled over by Divinity pointing at me from the middle of the street.  he was very polite, too. Not vengeful at all. Matter of fact and lawful mostly.  He smiled. I liked him. 

But, I like to look at things like this and find the deeper thing. Like what did Divinity keep me from doing? What accident was avoided, what truck or bullet with my name on it. Did that little detour lead me to the perfect future? Was something interrupted?  My court date is on 9-11. dun dun dun! The message here is clearly: “Pay attention! or attention, pay!” 

It is a challenge to give up the wrongness of getting a ticket for gods know how much. But ultimately, it’s a matter of trust that it will all work out.  Life has this tendency to do that. 

And I’m going to at least go to the court date and hope that Divinity has better places to be.

So, apologies are in order. I got freaked out, I got sick and I got tired. That is what has happened to me for the last week. I apologize. I got lifed, pretty bad. 

But I am back! 

So here’s what’s up, in a nutshell. No, here’s what’s up in a top ten things I love about my life. 

1. Love and openness to it. It’s pretty sweet. I’m just in this really cool space about it. It’s the no attachment thing. Earlier in the week, I was a little down on myself, but a dinner with Wolfie gave me a good place to stand, and I am back in love with love.  

2. I got a Trogdor for my bike.  

Yeah. Pretty awesome. Now to get a red wrestling mask and boxing gloves. Oh, and a beefy arm or two for the side. 

3. Burning Man shopping is on. The consumining! What do I need now? Well for one, I need a good drag outfit for Ladies Night on the Playa. I’ve never gone drag, I’m a little intimidated and scared. So suggestions (real suggestions, paynie, you are not invited to contribute) are welcome.  Wow. I can’t believe I just invited that one in. 

4. I went to Clockwork Orange last weekend at the Cemetery Screenings.  I was deeply affected by it. More upset by it than the countless times I saw it in film school. It turns out, I have been desensitized to violence. And now, seeing that desensitization, I am disturbed. Also, just the fear and violence in that movie. Wow. An amazing piece of scifi, it read more like a poem than a movie. And like really good scifi, it wasn’t about the future at all. It was about the now of 1971 when it came out. The tragedy is that we still haven’t gotten it. 

The movie also inspired me. I want to write a contemporary scifi novel. Right away. I’d love to get a rough draft complete at the end of this crazy month. Maybe a longhand manuscript. It’s crazy, right? But I am compelled. 

5. I just took a job with The Do Lab for right after Burning Man. In fact, I am flying off of the Playa on Thursday before the Man Burns. I’ve never been out there that early and I have never left that early. But I will have been out there for two weeks. I also get to spend ten days in Denver! That is super exciting! I have some dear friends out in Denver! It’s a good choice. I think I have already found a ride out of BM, a subletter for my sweet canvas space tent, a ride home for some of my stuff and a possible driver for my car back to LA (although I am taking volunteers). 

6. Adventure. It seems like I am having adventures solid through september. My new mantra: I am answering The Call.

7.  My Element is getting fixed. I’m now driving a Jeep Liberty. At least it has utility. I was cruising in my parent’s Lexus for a few days. It’s a sweet car, but delicate. There is an adage in the film business. “It’s a rental, don’t be gentle.” My car should be ready by Tuesday. 

8.  The Burning Man Screen Saver! Get it. It’s getting me really excited. 

9. I’m going to the Circus Tomorrow! I can’t wait! I haven’t been this excited about the circus since my ninth birthday! 

10. New bedspread and sheets. It’s the simple things in life that give me the most joy.  Oh yes, and Scotty taught me how to use a surger the other day. We made my fur blanket. It matches my coat, and it will keep me warm on the playa!

The Range Rover that hit me.

so, going down sunset. In the left turn lane onto highland. A black range rover cuts into the lane. I swerve and honk. I end up in the opposing traffic lane. There are no cars there, thankfully. There is no damage to his car. Mine is pretty banged up. I am shaking. Really shaking. We exchange insurance information. I get his vin number. I hope it just works out.

damage to my spacecraft

I don’t want to go anywhere anymore.  Sorry westside, sorry mom and dad, sorry friends in San Fransico and San Diego, sorry cabin.  Gas has nearly crested $5 a gallon, and going anywhere has become expensive.

So I look to carpooling. To go anywhere, I look for people to travel with. Even though they are not paying for the gas (I haven’t asked for gas money since I was seventeen, but now I am thinking about getting one of those stickers for my car). It’s nice to feel like you are doing something!

Living in LA, the thing I keep wondering is when (not if) will gas prices break this city? When will our poor public transport system and super spread out car culture go broke under the financial burden? We rely on trucks for so much of what we take for granted. When will the food and goods stop coming?

Hell, at least it got me to actively carpool.  And, I know I can do more. Here’s what I promise.

• I won’t go anywhere alone if I can help it, even though my house is kind of out of the way, I am sure I can find someone nearby to travel with me.
• I will actively carpool to work when possible. Most of the crews (except wolfie) live on my side of town. There is no reason to not drive with a buddy. Besides, maybe I can get them to drive.
• I’m going to drop my speed. The optimal speed on highways is 55-65 mph. This one will be tough. I will also need to start minding my acceleration. It’s there where the most gas is consumed.
• Alas, I am going to have to remove my roof rack. Air drag. This might give me an extra mpg or two.
• Track my MPG. Number of miles when you fill up, divided by the number of gallons you put in. I’ll keep a little notebook in my car to track it as time goes by, noting variables.
• More places in one trip. No going out for just one thing. Make lists and group journeys.  Stop at Target to get cleaning supplies on the way home from work, do several meetings in a day, etc.

I had this amazing experience today. At 6:30 PM, I made it from Redondo Beach to my home in Sun Valley in 45 minutes. I took the 405. I took the Sepulveda Pass. I drove on the 101.  There just were no cars out there, at all.

So obviously there is only one conclusion I could come to: The Rapture came, took away all of the pious and left behind everyone else.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture . I am surprised it’s not all over the news, well really, I wouldn’t know. I don’t watch or listen to the news. Maybe I’ll see it on the front page at Starfucks tomorrow or something.  It just seems like nobody really noticed.

What does this mean for us, the fashionable sinners of the new age, now that the most righteous christian fundamentalist have all been swept up into their heavenly vortex of god’s love?  Obviously, a significant relief from the worst rush hour traffic.  I also noticed, a few times, that McDonalds parking lots were also frighteningly empty. But perhaps we will also see a few less holier than thou kind of attitudes! I mean, if you were holier than me, wouldn’t your ass be on the Jesus Spaceship with the rest of the rubes?  Besides, the worst self-righteous ones are gone.  I know that all my friends will be here! Good times!

There is also a chance, however remote, that the reason for the total lack of traffic today can be traced to some other cause… Like maybe that fuel is just about at FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS A GALLON! This is alongside the smug reports of record profits by the oil industry. Maybe, just maybe, people are not able to afford to drive anymore?

I was kinda hoping that our short-timer president got raptured. Hahahaha!

btw: check out the game they made for left behind: http://blog.wired.com/games/2006/12/group_calls_for.html