I was talking the other day about my writing. She asked me about how much I have been writing, to which I replied “A lot,” because I have been writing just about every day for weeks and weeks. My blogging has been often and intense. 

But when it comes to my fiction, I have been having a lot of trouble getting going and I think I may have found some of the reason. Conflict. 

Conflict is at the very heart of all fiction. Without conflict, that fucked up, things going wrong, rocks flying at your characters’ heads kind of conflict, you have no story. And my life has been going along swimmingly. My only conflicts are instantly resolved in my head when I go effortlessly with the flow. I don’t rage indignantly against reality, I ease along with it, allowing really great things to happen. I get my real conflict from other fictions (comics, movies, games, books) and I gobble it up like a good little American conflict junkie. 

I think that’s why I like Burning Man so damn much, I go there and generate some real internal conflict against the environment. Out there it is survival, and one really could die if he or she didn’t take on survival as a personal choice. Out there, the fictionsuit of Spaceman emerges and I feel more alive than ever before. 

And then there is my own personal belief in the power of metafiction and pantheistic solipsism. That is if I write it, I create it. That if I start writing conflict and real danger to characters that represent me and my life, I may suddenly end up living the dream. In that, it really s a question of courage, and my lack of it. I like my life easy and comfortable.  And then again, when I find myself on real adventures, I am giddy with joy. 

Right now, my biggest conflict is that I am fighting a head cold and really have to do my taxes when I get home.  That’s doesn’t make for good fiction. I want epic battles with intergalactic empires and the saving of space empresses from the deadly clutches of dragons. Is that so much to ask? 

I am open to assistance in getting my fiction writing going. If anyone can recommend a class or a book or a method, I will entertain it.  Better yet though, if you can recommend some solid ways to get more conflict into the adventure in my life, that I am willing to look at.

So I am missing my Playa. I am really missing it. This is only my second burn night in the last ten years that I have been anywhere but Black Rock City.  It’s hard. But, I am here, an here is really a kind of paradise, no matter how you slice it. Because really, I am the burn. 

So, in no particular order, the top ten adventures I had on the playa. 

1. Getting my mustache shaped twice in the Barber Shop of DOOM! My friend Santi (Barber of Doom) brought out a barber chair and hot towels and straight razors and shaved my face. I have never had another person shave my face. It is a profound intimacy. It is especially intimate that Santi must at every second suppress the urge to slit my throat with his platinum razor.  I even manifested Santi in center camp to give me a a touch up shave shortly before dawn on Wednesday for my flight home. He gave me a Hulk Hogan Mustache, also known as the Enforcer. 

2.  My walk out to the peak of the trash fence. Monday Night, I wandered out to the deepest playa, along the way stopping and visiting some of the incredible art I encountered like the Tower of Babel (the hilton tower) and the indian encampment. At the peak  encountered Wolf, a perimeter interceptor. We watched the moonrise together and had a great conversation. 

3. Going to the Hot Springs. For the first time ever, I went to the Hot Springs before the event opened. Although, the springs themselves were just okay, the wild offroad ride with the other Box Office staff was a blast. I’ll have to do that again. Although I am more interested in high speed rolling through the open playa next year. 

4.  The day long dust storm on Monday. i worked the box that day. It was one of the most intense shifts I have ever worked. White out conditions. Computers going down. Internet failing. People crying. Closing the gate and greeters. Me with a bullhorn working the box. It was a wild day and I took on a lot of energy. It took me until my walk to the trash fence to clear my head. 

5. Watching the moonrise every night. I came with the intention of seeing every sunrise. I saw three. But at moonrise every night, I was there. I became acutely aware of the cycle of the moon. It’s so beautiful. When I arrived the moon was full and popped up just after the sun wet down. On my last night, the moon was a tiny sliver and came up shortly before dawn. I felt very close to the moon out there. Mainly because I was becoming a were-tarantula. Beware the next full moon. I’m just saying. 

6. Flying out of Burning Man. Yeah, definitely the way to go. 

7. Waiting in line to go up to the man, and kind of bumming that there was already a line on Monday night. Then the DPW guard says “is anyone in line Norwegian?” And I, automatically say, “I am Norwegian.” to which he replies “Front of the line, sir.”  It’s good to be big and blond I always say. 

8. Camp Voodoo Bistro. My camp was the best. Again. Our Voodoo Altar was incredibly effective. We gave food to the gods. we made offerings. We asked favors. I totally summoned Kalla using the altar. I loved being in that energy all week. And then there was my Voodoo Man Doll. That thing turned out so amazing. I was really proud of it. I hope they are burning it right now! And then there was our Campmate Zaragun. He is a 6′ across furry were tarantula. So fucking cool! He really became  part of the camp. And the human members of our camp were incredible as well. KT, Brian, Wolfie, Jennie, Scott and Kymber, Steve and Julian, Anastasia (my new pal!), Art (my oldest pal), Rand, Rif, Janneke, Denise, Radhika and all the people who came later… I love you all! 

9. Having Dinner with Rob, the guy who designs Black Rock City Every Year. What an honor. The lasson of this year really was that you never know who you are sitting next to. What an incredible guy. I was able to acknowledge hm for all he has done for my life through his city, to which he turned it on me. He thanked me, for without us, there is nothing. 

10. Camp Veal. When I went to the Virgin Mobile Festival a few weeks ago, I had this idea that I tossed around with Scotty. About Richard Branson (Virgin) went to burning man every year. We created this whole story. Then I started telling it at Burning Man this year, about this camp that Branson had set up. That he arrived in a silver hot air balloon (there was a takeoff and landing of a hot air ballon). That he was arranging a low altitude fly-over of the Virgin Galactic Spaceplane (this sparked  lot of anti-corporate sentiment) and that he camped in a huge silo of RVs far afield with his massive entourage (a comment on the number of massive RVs I saw this year.) I had so much fun dropping this little meme into the consciousness of Black Rock City and I wonder how far it spread.  I really wonder. If you heard it independently of me, let me know. 

I know there were more. But I gotta go party with my do lab people! Getting present to the great adventures I had sure makes me feel less sad about missing the puppet show tonight.

The stressing part of burning man is over for me. I got the car all loaded and i’m on my way, caravaning with Kj aka ohmigod on the playa. We’re in a rest stop on the spooky desert route.

I learned a lot in my three day burn prep.

1. I have my stuff together and I have too much stuff. I did pare down quite a bit. It’s empowering to throw stuff out.

2. You can never have too much stuff. Harbor frieght is awesome! There are a few locations and it is a great source for inexpensive tools and supplies. Mini bullhorn: $10. Nuff said.

3. Ozzie Dots on Hollywood is the best costume in la. They really cater to the burner crowd. Don’t hesitate to ask the staff for help. They know why you’re there.

4. Lowe’s outshines home depot 10 times out of 10.

5. Uniformity of bins is a good thing. It makes for a flat surface to work on when packing.

6. Packing is way more fun with a friend or two. Thanks Nati and Sarah!

7. The call to become a were tarantula will be unmistakable. Everywhere I an delighted by spiders. I’m loving the huge new campmate we just got. Costco us awesome for me for that last minute perfect thing.

8. I can’t wait for my friends to get to the playa!

9. Packing for 13 days on the playa and 13 days in Denver are very different endeavors. Now to try and keep some clothes clean.

10. Sometimes, you see amazing art cars when you aren’t even at burning man.

So, apologies are in order. I got freaked out, I got sick and I got tired. That is what has happened to me for the last week. I apologize. I got lifed, pretty bad. 

But I am back! 

So here’s what’s up, in a nutshell. No, here’s what’s up in a top ten things I love about my life. 

1. Love and openness to it. It’s pretty sweet. I’m just in this really cool space about it. It’s the no attachment thing. Earlier in the week, I was a little down on myself, but a dinner with Wolfie gave me a good place to stand, and I am back in love with love.  

2. I got a Trogdor for my bike.  

Yeah. Pretty awesome. Now to get a red wrestling mask and boxing gloves. Oh, and a beefy arm or two for the side. 

3. Burning Man shopping is on. The consumining! What do I need now? Well for one, I need a good drag outfit for Ladies Night on the Playa. I’ve never gone drag, I’m a little intimidated and scared. So suggestions (real suggestions, paynie, you are not invited to contribute) are welcome.  Wow. I can’t believe I just invited that one in. 

4. I went to Clockwork Orange last weekend at the Cemetery Screenings.  I was deeply affected by it. More upset by it than the countless times I saw it in film school. It turns out, I have been desensitized to violence. And now, seeing that desensitization, I am disturbed. Also, just the fear and violence in that movie. Wow. An amazing piece of scifi, it read more like a poem than a movie. And like really good scifi, it wasn’t about the future at all. It was about the now of 1971 when it came out. The tragedy is that we still haven’t gotten it. 

The movie also inspired me. I want to write a contemporary scifi novel. Right away. I’d love to get a rough draft complete at the end of this crazy month. Maybe a longhand manuscript. It’s crazy, right? But I am compelled. 

5. I just took a job with The Do Lab for right after Burning Man. In fact, I am flying off of the Playa on Thursday before the Man Burns. I’ve never been out there that early and I have never left that early. But I will have been out there for two weeks. I also get to spend ten days in Denver! That is super exciting! I have some dear friends out in Denver! It’s a good choice. I think I have already found a ride out of BM, a subletter for my sweet canvas space tent, a ride home for some of my stuff and a possible driver for my car back to LA (although I am taking volunteers). 

6. Adventure. It seems like I am having adventures solid through september. My new mantra: I am answering The Call.

7.  My Element is getting fixed. I’m now driving a Jeep Liberty. At least it has utility. I was cruising in my parent’s Lexus for a few days. It’s a sweet car, but delicate. There is an adage in the film business. “It’s a rental, don’t be gentle.” My car should be ready by Tuesday. 

8.  The Burning Man Screen Saver! Get it. It’s getting me really excited. 

9. I’m going to the Circus Tomorrow! I can’t wait! I haven’t been this excited about the circus since my ninth birthday! 

10. New bedspread and sheets. It’s the simple things in life that give me the most joy.  Oh yes, and Scotty taught me how to use a surger the other day. We made my fur blanket. It matches my coat, and it will keep me warm on the playa!

Out of nowhere, I decided to drive up to San Fransico this weekend with my friend Radhika. She has a million friends to visit up here. I am visiting my friend Marian. We’re here until Sunday morning (me in the city, her in oakland), It’s okay to try and arrange some plans, but I am here for a short time and will be here again in a few weeks.