What distracts me?  Iphone. Facebook. Netflix. Xbox. Google Reader. Ichat. And on and on and on. They each feed me these little morsels of serotonin. Little notifications of proof that I am interesting, or wanted or loved. There are a million little things I do to take me out of being productive or being with the people in my life. It’s kind of ridiculous.

For me, it’s automatic. I will be standing in line somewhere, or I’ll be idle for just a second, or I’ll be stopped at a light and I will find myself glancing at my phone for those little red balls over the apps that tell me something has happened. Ding. I’m interesting. Ding someone commented on my status update. Ding. my move in words with friends. The pretense is that somehow my iphone keeps me in touch with my community. the reality is that my iphone is my blankie. It’s this little security totem that I can go to to take myself out of life. When I am staring at that little screen, I get to ignore everything else. For just 30 seconds at a time.

Everyone else is doing it. The other smartphone junkies are doing the same thing, and commenting on each others’ pictures and birthdays. It’s this vast conspiracy. Nobody is out there calling us on our total lack of focus, lest they get called on theirs.

Focus is a muscle. As a child, i was diagnosed with a lazy eye, which meant one eye was less strong than the other and would go out of focus easily. I am also far sighted, which is also problem of focus. In the last year or so, my eyeglass prescription has changed. My eyes have actually grown weaker. My focus has grown weaker.  I am clear that I can straighten in this area, again.  But, like a heavy person jsut going back to the gym after years of inactivity, it may have to start slowly.

So, what I am going to start with, in my game of focus, is turning my phone into an actual communications tool, rather than a security blanket. It will live in my pocket, doing it’s thing while I am out there in the world, doing mine. If you see me relapse and go all glassy, tell me. I’ll do something about it.

But damn it, why this lousy technical manual. I’m going crazy here. Anything but this.

Back on the horse, or Tauntaun…

#208

When she would don the suit, everything would change. Suddenly 50 feet tall, she would rampage across her small town, breathing radioactive fire on her office , skipping down freeways, and kicking the suvs that crowded all the street parking on street sweeping days. Being a giant monster is cool.

I’m leaving in a week and a half and Scotty asked me to dig up the Less Than Zero Expectations what to bring list.  It has been modified for the American Dream. I’m not modifying it for the Evolution theme.  This list has been gathered from friends and changed so many times, who knows where it came from. Catherine and Wizard definitely get the lion’s share of credit.

Bring:

• BURNING MAN TICKET!!! (or confirmation email printout for will call)
• Early Arrival Pass (if you got it)
• Extra Car Keys
• Cash (once you’re there, you’ll only buy ice, coffee or use it as an illegal bartering medium)
• Ice for road trip
• Jumper Cables
• WATER!!! (BUY IN RENO – you’ll save your car a lot of weight. It’s recommended 1.5 gallons/day per person for drinking/food/showers This is good advice with current gas prices)
• Food (see list below)
• Alcohol (pick a budget and stick to it)

Bike Stuff:

• Bicycle (Decorated! – It’s prettier and less likely to be stolen)
• Bike Rack
• Bike Light (it can be DARK)
• Bike Lock (combo best so you don’t have to hold keys!)
• Tire Repair Kit
• wd40
• bike multi-tool

Camping:

• Tent
• Heavy Duty Tent Stakes (Long, at least 12″ although heavy rebar will work well too)
• Shade structure (I have a carport I got at pep boys years ago. It’s survived pretty well and I use shade cloth on the sides to make it even better. I curse it every time I put it together.)
• Sleeping Bag or Linens
• Pillow
• Air Mattress or futon
• 2 Camping Chairs so you can have company
• Camping Table
• Lantern
• Camping Shower (cabellas.com has the best one)
• Tool Kit  (for me this is a lot)
• Rope/line (as a grip I can say, you can never have enough out there)
• Small Broom/Dust Pan (sweeping your tent)
• Water Bottle with Strap, clean canteen on a carabiner or a Camelback (sold at REI- usually,on sale in August)
• An extra cup or two!

• Clothing for Warm and Cold Weather (always prepare for extremes)
• Boots
• Close-Toe Shoes (at least some of the time – and make sure they can get dirty)
• EXTRA SOCKS!!! (Seriously, at least DOUBLE what you think)
• EXTRA UNDIES! (you may loose some)

• Headlight/Flashlight
• Tiny Flashlight (to hook on you for night walking)
• Extra Batteries (all kinds – camera, lantern, flashlight, boom box, etc.)
• Blindfold (for day sleeping)
• Earplugs
• Duct Tape
• Sunscreen
• Lip Screen/Balm with sunscreen!
• Hat
• Sunglasses
• Goggles (for dust storms)
• Bandana for Dust Mask (THESE ARE GREAT CAUSE YOU CAN FOLD THEM UP)
• Umbrella
• Rain Coat or Poncho
• Zip Lock Bags (lots of the ‘storage’ size)
• Garbage Bags (i suggest contractor bags or trash compactor bags. the last thing you want on your return home is a leaky trashbag stinking up your drive)
• Plastic Grocery Bags
• a cardboard box for burnables
• First Aid Kit
• Matches / lighters
• Soft Kleenex
• Sewing Kit
• Safety Pins
• Paper Towels
• Moisturizing Eye Drops
• Nose Saline (they have this at 99 cent store)
• Baby Wipes (great to carry around in a plastic baggie & to take showers with!)
• Q-tips (to clean ears from dust)
• Medication (allergy, migraine, Echinacea, birth control, vitamins, etc.)
• Oil (for hair- great treatment!You can get very dry out there. be sure for hair- some are toxic in high dose)
• Lotion (Big)
• Nail Polish Remover
• Sponges
• Shampoo/Liquid Soap (dr bonners!)
• Shower Puff (the plastic ball kind that dry quickly)
• Towels
• Toothbrush/Toothpaste/Floss
• Can Opener- Eureka!!!
• Swiss Army Knife/Corkscrew
• Fire Extinguisher (There should at least be one close by)
• Spray Bottles (2) one for your body one for cleaning dishes and pans!
• Vinegar
• Basin
• COSTUMES!!! (For various types of weather/temperature)
• Body Makeup
• Bright Nail Polish
• Blinkies/Glow Sticks
• Essential Oils (for smell-just nice)
• Wigs
• A bathroom bag (small backpack or sling bag) . contents: roll of single ply TP. flashlight, baby wipes, surface wipes, a ziplock for the used wipes, hand sanitizer basically anything you would need in the porta-potties. Keep it right by the door of your tent. so that in the middle of the night it’s close at hand! Trust me. This is a lifesaver!
• Kitchen set up plates, cups, utensils. Pots pans, knives spatulas, etc.
• A butane stove. I got mine at a chinese supermarket in chinatown.
• a solid cooler that will keep your drinks cold and the FEW things you need to keep cold for freshness fresh.
• one of those orange five gallon drinking water things. Keep this full of ice and use it to get your water cold. TIP: manage your coolers by keeping them in the shade!

FOOD

• Water
• Emergen-C or Gatorade (you’ll need the electrolytes!)
• Nuts/Dried Fruit
• juice
• Shakes
• instant soups and asian food from Trader Joe’s. Think anything pre-made. just set them in the sun to cook!
• Oatmeal
• Those tuna packs that make instant tuna salad
• Clif Bars
• salty treats to help keep you hydrated
• Tasty Bites or similar food in a bag (get at trader joes) a real treat out there!
• If you want to be super awesome. Get a great dish from your favorite take out restaurant and get a double order of something you love (like gumbo, or kung pao shrimp) and freeze it in a big ziplock. Then eat it in the first few days, just by heating it up in a big pan.

Extra Tips
- Pack in plastic storage containers. Use bins to help stack your stuff!

- Pack clothes in categories in large zip lock bags. Keeps them less dusty. zip them back up when you can!

- Pack one clean set of clothes (including shoes and socks) for the ride home. Don’t open during BM. You’ll be happy!

- Pack all of your undies & makeup in plastic baggies (so never too dusty)

-You might want to add a mesh bag like the kind that onions come in. Put wet garbagein them ( like food waste) and then it dries out in the heat and can then be put in plastic bags for drive home.

DO NOT BRING:

• Excess Packaging – take cereal bag out of cereal box, etc.
• Anything with feathers or loose glitter
• Too much produce (especially watermelons! Never bring watermelon to burning man)
• Styrofoam Coolers

Panic.

“Just switch on the beacon,” my suit says.

Sometimes, other travelers end up stranded on this Earth, and they must reach out to their brethren. He came around the time of the first atom bomb detonation, a pivotal time when earth blipped onto the watch list for galactic civilizations, both light and dark. Leonard fights for our team.

This place will do.  Obviously, it will need some modifications. I’m going to need to shore up the superstructure and  the parts I need for the weapon won’t even be available commercially for three years, at least. But, the location is sound. They’re used to lights and sounds at night.

When will you ever have more time than you do right now? 

It hit me where I live. She does that. So, like I like to do, a list of ten things I love that I am doing. 

1. I’ve been dating. I’ve been loving. I’ve been flirting. I’ve been falling in love.   I’ve been free. In no particular order. In the realm of love and romance, I am the happiest I have been in a while. It’s a really nice time for me. The hardest thing about dating right now if having the time. Somehow, I make it work. 

2. I have not been working as much as I’d like to be. It’s been a really tight month, money wise. In fact, I am the most concerned about money that I have been since I first started gripping back in 2003.  I am open to new income streams and magic. I am tightening my spending, budgeting my gourmet coffee intake and, eating at home as often as possible. 

3. I am looking to find what the voice of my blog really is about. I want to direct it into a laser like focus.  I would love input and suggestions on this. The minis sagas have been a nice fiction aspect, but is that all I want it to be?  

4. I am sure you have noticed, if you read this blog that I have been doing these mini sagas. It has bee a great way for me to exercise some of my limitless creative energy. It is also a way for me to get away with not posting my more philosophical or well thought out blog posts.  There are really cool stories emerging there.  50 words a day, for 365 days. I’m on 39. 

5.  I got me a new camera. It’s not a really nice digital slr, but it has a solid lens and i like some of the functionality of it.  I also got me a flikr account. I’m gonna upgrade to pro in a minute, so I can post more. But I am looking for a voice in my photography as well.  I know enough really great event photographers. I know some really great headshot and portrait photographers. I want to do something different. I have been enjoying the panoramic feature of my camera, but that is even a little limiting. It’s a fun area to explore. Flikr username: Spaceman23

6. My writing partner Duke and I have been writing a spec episode for the Nickelodeon cartoon show, The Mighty B! It’s coming out great. We have a good writing relationship. I love what we come up with together. I’m funny. Who knew? 

7. Speaking of writing. I just got a new screenwriting program,  I went for Screenwriter as opposed to Final Draft. My last version on FD wasn’t the best. But, heres the thing: I need someone with a version of Final Draft on their mac to export some files for me into a format that Screenwriter can import. My old version of final draft crashes on my intel mac.  Any writers out there up for helping? I feel crippled on some of my old projects. 

8. It looks like I am working for a few days in Vegas at the end of the month (next week). Anybody have some fun ideas? 

9. My birthday is the week after that! And since it falls on a wednesday, I want to have a party at the Edison.  Right after that, we are going down to Mexico for Fuente. My dear friend Zak hooked me up with a ticket. I love my friends.  My birthday falls right around Natalie, Merlin, Roxy and Serha, Katie, Alan Finn and a few others. Fuente is gonna be a blast!

10.  I’ve just noticed this thing about myself that I do. When I don’t have something cool that I am doing with my life, I don’t want to share. But then, when I don’t share, nothing more shows up for me. I only want to talk about the good stuff.

Here’s the truth: The last few weeks have been challenging. I have put on a front of everything being really great, and in many ways, it has been. But the reality is that I have been struggling. Money has been really tight. I’ve been far too close to zero lately. I’ve been late on bills.  No work has been on the horizon. The town has been dead for the movie biz.  I’m scared about the economy and how it will directly affect me. I’m seeing that it has. I keep hoping I’m going to be saved from all of it, by obama, or by tapout finally paying me, or by some miracle. I’m hoping. 

And I’m also saying that all of that is turning around. Right now. New work is flowing toward me. New directions are opening up. It’s going to be a great year for my career!

Okay, that’s me being back. Glad to open up to you again, internets.