It has been just over a year since my relationship with Karen ended. From a year out, I can see all the reasons it didn’t ultimately work. I can see the wonderful times and the not so wonderful times with equal perspective. I can miss her and be so happy alone. In the last year I have endeavored to allow myself all of my emotions. There were tears, there was anger, there was laughter, there is love.  A year later, I am complete in my heart about the whole thing.

So, now I find myself in this interesting new space.  I find myself open to romance.

romance |rōˈmans; ˈrōˌmans|noun

1 a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love

I catch myself connecting with people and looking into their eyes and seeing beautiful possible futures with them. I think of great things in LA to do with dream girls. I wonder.

I have gone from relationship to relationship for a long time now, with very short breaks in between.  I don’t feel like I have really “dated” as an adult. I am realizing a lot of things about it, like communicating the difference between wanting to go on a “date” with someone or “go out” with someone. It’s about subtle distinctions. I am walking this line between very choosy and totally open. I have these really specific things I am looking for in a lover and I can also accept that I really don’t have all the answers. I am failing and winning.  And there is this funny effect. The more love I put out there, the more love gets reflected back at me.

It’s really fun!

2 a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life

I am also applying this approach to romance to everyone in my life.  I am thinking of the second meaning of romance. What if I could apply the mystery and excitement to everyone in my life?  Can I cultivate love with everyone?  I request that you open yourself to receive love and romance from me and everyone, wether you are available or not. Let it in.

It’s worth a try.

Tags: love, romance

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 6th, 2008 at 9:59 pm and is filed under The Life of A Spaceman. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.