I Think We Were Left Behind
I had this amazing experience today. At 6:30 PM, I made it from Redondo Beach to my home in Sun Valley in 45 minutes. I took the 405. I took the Sepulveda Pass. I drove on the 101. There just were no cars out there, at all.
So obviously there is only one conclusion I could come to: The Rapture came, took away all of the pious and left behind everyone else. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture . I am surprised it’s not all over the news, well really, I wouldn’t know. I don’t watch or listen to the news. Maybe I’ll see it on the front page at Starfucks tomorrow or something. It just seems like nobody really noticed.
What does this mean for us, the fashionable sinners of the new age, now that the most righteous christian fundamentalist have all been swept up into their heavenly vortex of god’s love? Obviously, a significant relief from the worst rush hour traffic. I also noticed, a few times, that McDonalds parking lots were also frighteningly empty. But perhaps we will also see a few less holier than thou kind of attitudes! I mean, if you were holier than me, wouldn’t your ass be on the Jesus Spaceship with the rest of the rubes? Besides, the worst self-righteous ones are gone. I know that all my friends will be here! Good times!
There is also a chance, however remote, that the reason for the total lack of traffic today can be traced to some other cause… Like maybe that fuel is just about at FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS A GALLON! This is alongside the smug reports of record profits by the oil industry. Maybe, just maybe, people are not able to afford to drive anymore?
I was kinda hoping that our short-timer president got raptured. Hahahaha!
btw: check out the game they made for left behind: http://blog.wired.com/games/2006/12/group_calls_for.html